Save Yourself
by Imoen Leslati
Summary: Summer between Seasons 2 and 3. At a school retreat, Craig makes a new friend that reminds him too much of himself. Can he save her and himself? Crash, OC, and all the other Grade 10ers.
1. Chapter 1

Placed during the summer between Seasons 2 and 3. After watching Craig's character development, I felt that what he really needs to complete his healing is to help someone else out of a similar situation. So, here you go. Crash, OC, and quite a bit of Hazel, along with the other Grade 10ers.

Much credit for the setup and activities of the retreat goes to the South Granville High School Asheboro Leadership Retreat. Even though none of the people involved will probably ever read this, I'll just add credits, Mr. and Mrs. Jocys, and Mrs. Neems, you will never know exactly how much you did for me.

*****

Joey pulled in to the long line of cars at the Degrassi school parking lot. Mr. Simpson had organized a weekend-long "leadership retreat" for the students. It was basically an excuse for everyone, kids and parents both, to get a stress-free weekend halfway through the summer.

Joey turned to look at Craig. He was sleepily blinking his eyes at the ceiling. After a month and a half of on-again off-again therapy, Craig finally looked like he was starting to deal with his father's death. Of course, their companion in the back seat, Ashley, was helping with that.

"So, all set?" Joey broke the silence.

"Yeah. Back here Sunday at 5," Craig went over the plans again, "you take me and Ashley back home."

Ashley smiled at Joey in the mirror. "And I want to thank you again for letting me sleep over until my Mom gets back."

"Well, so long as you don't mind having 500 Barbies as your roommates on Angie's floor," Joey slipped in the quick reminder to the couple about the sleeping arrangements.

"Oh, yeah, their painted eyes will stare at you in your sleep." Craig waved his hands creepily. "They'll all whisper, 'Ashley, join us Ashley!'"

Ashley laughed and got out of the car.

Joey gave one last look at his son. "You sure you're going to be okay away from me for a while?"

Craig let out a patient sigh. He had been expecting Joey to get protective at the last second. "Hey, you said this retreat would be good for me, Joey. Besides, don't think of it as being away from me. Think of it…like I'm over at Mr. Simpson's. He's got the cell phone, anyway, if anything happens."

"Well, hey, then, just…" Joey cut off his usual parental preamble about being responsible. He could see Craig fidgeting a little to get out of the car. "Just have fun," he finished.

"Thanks, Dad." Craig gave Joey a quick hug and hopped out of the car.

Craig hoisted his backpack and jogged to the end of the line to get on the bus. Ashley was waiting for him at the back. "So, he read you the riot act?"

"No," Craig dropped his backpack and went fishing for his permission form. "He's actually being pretty cool about this. Even cooler than usual."

"Well, let's hope it keeps up," Ashley agreed.

Craig gave a quick smile to Mr. Simpson as he passed. The smile he got back was genuinely happy to see him, not the oh-it's-Craig-didn't-he-flip-out-in-front-of-the-whole-school smiles he had been expecting to get from everyone.

Craig and Ashley froze at the front of the bus. The retreat had been for grade 10 and up: Craig spotted all his classmates, minus Spinner. There were only single seats left, scattered throughout the bus. "Maybe see if someone will switch?" Craig suggested.

Terri shot Craig a quick smile, and he waved back, but Terri was already sitting next to someone. Craig felt a slight warmness in his heart from her words of comfort at the end of last year.

Craig found a seat next to a girl with black hair. "Hey, would you…" he started to speak, but the girl was fast asleep, slumped against the window.

Craig cast a look around, and spotted Ashley getting waved into a seat next to Ellie. So much for that idea. Ellie wouldn't approve of getting ditched for the boyfriend. Besides, they'd have plenty of time to be together on the trip, itself.

Craig sat down, and pulled out his mp3 player. He put the buds in and cranked music over Mr. Simpson's last second "ground rules" speech.

His eyes went to the girl next to him. Her long black hair was waved mostly covering her face, and Craig couldn't see much of it. Oddly enough, it took Craig looking down at her backpack and spotting the giant yin yang on it before he recognized her. She was in his English class, Annie? No, Danni. Danni Welker. Because Ms. Kwan would call her Danielle on the roll.

At least, if she woke up, it wouldn't be awkward now. But as the bus began to move, and Craig felt himself gently rocking back and forth, he was surprised that anyone on the bus was awake. He leaned his head straight back and felt his eyes drift closed.

Craig jerked awake as he was being thrown forward. His hands shot out to keep from slamming his head on the seat in front of him. The groans emanating from throughout the bus showed that Craig hadn't been the only one asleep.

"Sorry, sorry," he heard the bus driver yelling back. As Craig peeked up to the front, he could see a line of red taillights. Hello, traffic.

Danni was curled over in the seat, grimacing in pain. Craig bent double to look at her. "Hey, you okay?"

Danni shot back up to sitting. Her brown eyes looked him over. "Yeah, just…hit my elbow."

"Always the funny bone," Craig commented.

Danni gave a weak smile, and began bending and straightening her arm to try to diffuse the pain. She flipped her hair behind her ears, and adjusted the unbuttoned long-sleeve dress shirt she was wearing like a jacket.

"Didn't know you'd be coming along," she looked up at Craig.

"Anything to get me out of the house," Craig rolled his eyes. "One teensey nervous breakdown and nobody leaves you alone."

Danni began hysterically laughing, and trying to nod in between breaths. "Oh, wow, you're not kidding."

"Oh, had some personal experience, there?" Craig questioned.

Two heads poked up over the seat in front of them and turned around in unison. Paige and Hazel both had slight smiles on their faces.

"Gee, hon, much as we'd like to see Ash get put in her place, I don't think that one's really interested in your kind," Paige deepened her grin.

"Ash and I are fine. We're just talking." Craig paused, but the girls didn't stop looking at him. "Go away?" he slowly finished.

Paige and Hazel shot each other their patented know it all look, and faced back to the front.

Before Craig could even ask, Danni supplied, "Paige is convinced I'm a lesbian. As if. And even if I was, I wouldn't be interested in her bleach-blond ass anyway."

Craig chuckled. "They're just threatened by anything they can't control. Me, Ash, Ellie. And, apparently, you." He smiled. "You should fit in with us just fine, provided you pass our initiation."

"Initiation?"

Craig held up his ear buds. "Progressive or alternative?"

Danni pulled out a pair of headphones. "Try electronic."

Craig pulled a face. "That over-produced stuff?"

"It's better than you think…" Danni waved the headphones in his face. "Step over to the dark side, Manning."


	2. Chapter 2

By the time they exited the bus, Craig and Danni were debating the relative merits of live versus electronic drum kits. All the students exited onto a secluded campground. There were some scattered wooden buildings for facilities, but Craig's eyes lit first on the giant lake with mid-day sun reflecting off it.

"Hey!" Craig grabbed Ashley and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Well, at least you weren't bored without me," Ashley laughed.

"No, no," Craig adjusted their group so that Danni was walking next to Ellie. "Danni you know Ash, and Ellie. Guys, this is Danni. She was showing me these insane mash-ups."

"Mash-ups?" Ellie was the one to jump in on the music discussion.

"It's mostly a re-mixing of two songs with each other, but you take all the original sounds from both songs, instead of like with most types of trance and techno you'd be familiar with, when you add an original backbeat and stuff." Danni jumped into a similar discussion of what she had explained to Craig.

"So you take songs from totally different genres, or what?" Ellie asked back.

"Well, here," Danni pulled the headphones back out. "Try…this one."

Craig and Ashley drifted away a little while the girls kept talking. "Made a new friend already, hunh?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, it didn't take much to get her talking," Craig admitted. "She doesn't really hang out with anyone in our group, does she?"

"Actually, I don't think I've seen her with anyone," Ashley was clearly thinking hard. "We'll just need to break her of this shyness habit."

The entire group piled into the main assembly building. Craig eyed the pew-like benches, and the scripture hangings on the walls. "I didn't think this was going to be a religious retreat, Mr. S."

Mr. Simpson spoke loud enough to cover everyone's murmurings of complaint. "This campground was built thanks to religious donations, and it's mostly used for those types of retreats, but it's open to anyone who rents it. So sorry, Craig," Simpson put on a fake Southern Evangelist voice, "but your soul will have to be saved-a…another day!" Any tension was successfully broken as the room laughed.

Simpson began pinning up four large sheets of paper. "We have a lot of activities to do while we're here. For most of the weekend, you will be split into four smaller groups. We took a lot of time to try to break apart known friend circles, to get you interacting with people that you don't normally when you're at school. So," he put up the last page, "come on up, find your group and cabin assignment, and get your maps. After you put your stuff away, the Red group meets in Cabin A, the Green group meets in Cabin C, the Yellow group meets in Cabin E, and my Blue group meets in Cabin F."

Craig didn't even have to look at the list to know that he was going to have been put in the blue group under Simpson's watchful eye. He still checked the lists for his cabin assignment, but he was absolutely right about his placement.

Ashley gave him a quick half-smile. "Yellow. And Ellie's in Red."

"They weren't kidding, hunh? Well, they can't keep us apart all weekend. I'll still see you as much as I can." Craig leaned in for another quick kiss.

"We've got afterwards at Joey's all to ourselves," Ashley reminded him. "Don't worry if you end up hanging out with your group a lot."

Craig did a quick survey of the group as he pushed in the door to Cabin F. He only recognized two people: Hazel and Danni. Danni smiled as he came in and patted next to her on the long pillow she had brought.

"No chairs; we're going to be doing a lot of sitting on floors," she explained. "Give it two hours, and everyone's going to be sneaking back in with their pillows."

"Almost like a slumber party, only this time, no one's putting ribbons in my hair." Craig elaborated, "My little sister. My step-dad keeps his head bald, so when the kids get together, I'm their make-over victim." He ran his hand through his hair. "Sometimes, I think Joey has the right idea."

"Bald is the new black," Mr. Simpson chimed in from the head of the room. "We're still waiting on a few more people, then we'll get started."

"You live with your step-dad?" Danni whispered at his side. "But…" and there was the oh-its-Craig-didn't-he-flip-out-in-front-of-the-whole-school ™ look.

Craig took a deep breath. "It was my birth father that died. But, I was already living with Joey." He spotted Hazel looking in her compact and pretending that she wasn't listening to his every word.

Danni nodded. "Sorry to, you know."

"If Snake up there has his way, I get the feeling I'm going to be talking about this a lot this weekend," Craig admitted.

"Okay," Mr. Simpson clapped his hands for attention. "We're just going to start with some getting to know you exercises…"

Right before they broke for lunch, Mr. Simpson pulled out a bag. "I know we're all hungry, so I'll make this quick. We're giving out these journals for you to record your thoughts during this weekend. You don't have to show them to anyone, or share them with the group. This is just for you to work through things that come up that you might not want to talk to everyone about. You might want to put your names on them, or we have," Simpson lamely held up some sticker sheets, "some…yeah, in case you're into that kind of thing."

Craig laughed. "I come home with that, I'd better have at least two more sheets of stickers for Angie to put on stuff."

As they walked out, Danni commented, "You really like your little sister, don't you?"

"Love her. I'd do anything for her. She…" Craig trailed off a bit. He thought back to what Joey had told him once: that Angie was the one that had confirmed that Craig was being beaten as more than just a suspicion, even if she didn't really know the bigger meaning behind what she had said. "She's done more for me than even she realizes," Craig decided to say.

Craig's arm immediately went around Ashley as they lined up for food. "So how was it?"

"Good," Ashley replied. "I'm in a group with Marco, which is nice. I think he's the only other one here who doesn't want to kill me."

"It's not that bad," Craig rolled his eyes. "It's a good thing I met Danni, or it would just be me and Hazel, and what would we talk about?"

"Give her a chance," Ashley suggested. "Get her away from Paige, and I think she'll turn into a different person."

Craig looked over the crowd, and saw Ellie and Terri walking in together. "Now there's something you don't see every day. Why don't those two hang out more?"

There was a loud clatter behind them. Danni had tried to step out of the line with her tray, but had walked right into Jimmy. Most of the food had landed on the ground, but there was a faint splatter on Jimmy's shirt.

After a deep sigh, Jimmy was just shaking his head. "Good thing you did that before you got your drink, hunh?"

Danni wasn't paying attention. She had snapped down to the ground and started trying to clean up the mess. Craig could hear her muttering, "I'm sorry," repeatedly, and her face had gone bright red.

Craig put his own tray down on a table, and knelt down next to her. "Hey, Danni, it's cool." She didn't respond. "Danni?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and felt her flinch, but it got her attention.

"Sheila's not gonna yell at us here," Craig laughed. "And Jimmy's okay, right?"

Jimmy nodded, but Craig could see a variation on the oh-it's-Craig ™ look starting to form, but in Danni's direction.

"Yeah, sorry, wow," Danni sputtered. "Just…you're very tall, and I didn't look where I was going, and…" Danni looked around. "And now I'm making a scene, this is awesome."

Finally, that got Jimmy laughing. "I'll see you around, man," Jimmy nodded to Craig.

Ashley gave a glance down at Danni when they were seated. "You know, Jimmy's going out with Hazel, right?" Ashley tried to make it sound casual.

"What?" Danni looked back at Ashley. "Oh no, no, not like that. Jimmy's not my type, not at all." Ashley and Craig were both hiding giggles. "What? Stop it, you're taking this the wrong way," Danni began blushing again.

"Okay, so who is your type?" Ashley leaned in close.

"I…I don't really have one. Not yet, at least. Haven't even gone out with anyone. I told you Paige thinks I'm a lesbian, right?" Danni was talking very quickly again.

"Ah, so it's Hazel you're after," Craig exclaimed.

Danni put her head down and groaned. "I can't win with you two."


	3. Chapter 3

After lunch, they all had some free time, supposedly to write in their journals. Craig obliged by writing the only form of therapy that really worked for him; song lyrics.

He had dozens of songs tucked away into books that would never see the light of day. Whenever he had a band, Craig didn't want to turn it into a total emo downfest whining about his parents with every song.

But maybe a song or two down that road wouldn't be bad, Craig mused. Music had helped him out a lot when he was with his father. It just made him feel like he wasn't alone, that someone else understood his pain. If he could do that for somebody else, maybe he'd be really doing something with his music, instead of just getting famous.

Craig put these thoughts down on paper next to a set of verses he was particularly happy with. It wasn't something that needed to happen right now, but maybe down the road. Craig snapped the book shut. His therapist would call it a breakthrough, so there was plenty of time to overanalyze these thoughts later when Joey was paying someone to do it.

Danni had apparently finished her writing, and was busy putting some of the most ludicrous stickers Craig had ever seen on the journal. She seemed to have picked out every single sparkly, reflective sticker in different colors just to make it look obnoxious.

Mr. Simpson came in with their next group activity. "Although you don't know much about each other, you undoubtedly have at least a first impression formed about each other. We're going to go around and air what each of you thinks about the other, good, bad, or whatever. Most people say it's not important what other people think, but then we worry about it all the time. Maybe things would be easier if we just knew what other people were thinking, and there wouldn't be as much mystery about it. Anyone want to offer themselves up first?"

Craig popped to his feet. "Let's get the awkward one out of the way first. Cookies to anyone who finds a new and interesting synonym for 'freak'."

Hazel spoke up first. "You're not a freak, Craig. Actually, you're a good example of what Mr. Simpson is trying to get across here. Sure, your little…incident…"

"Little?" Craig repeated.

"Little incident," Hazel affirmed. "It seemed like it was massive and the end of the world. But how many people were actually paying attention? Personally, I was too busy herding an allergic boyfriend, a prima-donna best friend, and her orange…date…thing." Hazel didn't quite seem ready to call Spinner Paige's boyfriend. "And I guarantee you if you ask Jimmy or Paige, they would say everyone was paying attention to them. People don't notice as much as you think."

Hazel shot a quick smile to Danni, which she returned. "So as for what I think of you? You've been through more than the rest of us, which makes you one of the strongest people I know. But you really should cut your hair," Hazel smirked. "Any longer in the back, and you're in mullet territory."

That got a nice tension-breaking laugh from the group. Craig felt a wave of comfort go over him as the group went around and expressed similar sentiments. One or two only complimented him on his music, and one girl admitted to having a crush on him when he first got to the school.

Finally, it got around to Danni, who took a deep breath before simply saying, "You're showing me that people are more approachable than I might have thought. I can tell you're a really good and true friend. And I like your poetry," she finished with a smirk.

When it was Danni's turn to stand, Hazel was busily biting her lip. "I'm trying to figure out a way to say this tactfully, since I don't normally try to do that, and it gets me in trouble." There was a chuckle from the group. "We don't know how to act around you," Hazel blurted out in a rush. "It's almost like everything you do tries to set you apart from everyone. You don't seem to fit in with any groups, you don't speak up in class. It's hard to find an example…ah, take gym class. You know? You're always off doing your own martial arts thing…"

"Tai chi," Danni elaborated.

"Exactly. You're never doing group stuff. I mean, you don't even change clothes with the rest of us. From our perspective, it's like we're trying to go through the social motions, but you won't make the effort back." Hazel was watching Danni's eyes carefully to know if she was crossing the line, but Danni's face remained receptive. "To some people, like Paige, that comes off as snobbish. I get that it's probably fear or anxiety or something more like that. And, I hope you can figure out how to open up more, because you probably have some great things to share with people. And I also hope this didn't make you mad," Hazel finished with almost a question.

Danni shook her head. "No, I…I get it. Wow, you get it better than I do. You're good at this stuff."

"She's right. Ever think of going into psychology?" Craig quipped.

Hazel shook her head. "Not really. But that's not the first time someone's asked me that."

"There's an introductory class at Degrassi that you might be able to take," Mr. Simpson offered.

Hazel raised her eyebrows. "I'll think about it."

Craig blew out a deep breath as he looked up at Danni. "It's hard to follow that act. But, I'd say that I hope we're helping to start you on the path to become more social and open up more. You'd probably have a lot in common with Ellie, and I hope you keep hanging out with us after this weekend is over," Craig was rambling, his thoughts completely disjointed. "It's like, you don't have to be alone, and you don't have to be perfect. You seem worried about doing something wrong. It's almost like you're distancing yourself because you feel you need to, like you're…"

Craig finished the sentence only in his mind. Like you're punishing yourself. Or expecting to be punished for doing something wrong. His mind flashed back to Danni spilling her food on Jimmy, then a vision, of another plate of food hitting the floor. His father's voice.

'_Just clean it up!'_

"Um, I think I've talked too much," Craig finished. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. It's not the same. You're just still dealing with your own issues. Don't paint them onto other people, just because you're still crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

Friday came to a close, and all the teens moved back to their cabins for sleep. Craig was too exhausted to do much, so he lay back on his bunk, lost in his own thoughts, just listening to Jimmy and Marco playing cards on the floor.

Could he possibly be right? Was Danni in a bad situation, or was it like Hazel said, and she just had some social anxiety. Either way, she needed help. Craig pulled out his journal and began listing.

Guilt

Anxiety

Social isolation

Flinching from contact

Long-sleeved shirts…?

Craig envisioned the button-up shirt that Danni was loosely wearing as a jacket. He tried to think back, but it was hard to envision her earlier. Did she always wear them? Like he used to? Craig added 'Ask Hazel' next to that entry.

There was a chance that it was all in Craig's head, or if she was being abused, it could be just emotional, and Craig would never be able to prove that. Still, he had to make sure. How had Sean and Joey wormed his secret out of him?

Craig had barely noticed that he was asleep when Mr. Simpson was opening the door and flooding the room with light. "Rise and shine! Breakfast in 20!"

Craig's eyes lit on his journal, still open. He quickly shut it, and looked around at everyone's faces. No one seemed to be giving him looks, at least no more than usual. Hazel's words came back to him, and he gave a half-smile. People don't notice as much as you think.

Their group at the table was getting bigger. Ashley had dragged over Marco, which had drawn Jimmy and Hazel over. It was obvious that Hazel was a good influence on Jimmy, because he seemed to be downright tolerating Ashley's presence without a single complaint. Danni was sitting next to Ellie and Terri, and with Hazel and Terri at the table, Paige had joined them. Craig thought it was funny to see the group semi-organized around his friends, and Paige was feeling like the one out of place.

"By the way, Jimmy," Craig started, "have I mentioned that your girlfriend is a genius?"

"Hey, what happens in group is private, remember?" Hazel mock-chided Craig, but she actually seemed to be smiling at having some attention on her, for a change.

"I'm not gonna say about what," Craig defended himself. "But you deserve some credit. I've been thinking about what you said all night."

"Well, I'm glad to be of help," Hazel smiled.

"So how's your group," Ashley asked Ellie.

"Great, if Heather Sinclair would shut up for two seconds," Ellie sighed.

Paige finally found her opening and leapt into the conversation. "Now you all know what the last year has been like for me."

"You said it, sister," Hazel laughed.

Craig shot a look to Danni. She wasn't speaking up, but the fact that she was able to sit here and feel included was a step up from only a day ago. She was, however, still wearing a button-down shirt. It looked too big for her, if she unbuttoned the wrists, the sleeves would fall past her hands. It gave her the look of almost wearing a protective cloak against the world.

Craig suddenly noticed everyone standing up. Mr. Simpson was filing people out of the hall by group, "You'll meet briefly in your groups, then we've got a large group activity for you."

Danni was suddenly halfway to the door. Hazel was lingering for one last kiss with Jimmy. Once Jimmy left, Craig grabbed his chance. "Hazel, can I talk to you for just a second?"

"Sure," Hazel brightened. "Need more advice from your new guru?"

"Actually, it's about Danni." Craig glanced around one more time. "This is going to seem like a really weird question."

"Shoot."

"Does she always wear those long-sleeved shirts?"

Hazel immediately nodded. "Paige makes fun of her for it all the time."

"Even to gym?"

Hazel was slower to answer this time. "Usually it's sweatshirts there. Why?"

"I don't know yet, but don't tell her I asked," was all Craig could say.

Hazel nodded, without even a flicker of the oh-it's-Craig ™ look. "If you're that interested in her, she woke up in the middle of the night last night, like 3 am. I don't think she made it back to sleep."

Craig's thoughts flickered back to breakfast. Had Danni actually said anything, or had she been withdrawn, going through the motions?

"I gotta go," Craig said. He and Hazel both rushed out of the mess hall to their group site.

They were all instructed to change to physical activity clothes, and meet at a spot on the edge of the woods. When they re-convened, Craig noticed that Hazel was right, and Danni was, indeed, wearing full sweats. But, technically, so was Ash. Was that so weird?

The group was led to a tall rappel tower. Mr. Simpson spread his arms wide. "Welcome to your physical trust exercise. We have on staff a team of licensed belayers," Simpson gestured to five people in blue shirts and utility pants, "and they are going to teach us how to go down the tower!"

Ellie was the first to raise a hand. "Us?"

"Oh, yes," Mr. Simpson nodded. "Us counselors will be doing this with you guys." This was met with cheers and appreciative clapping from the students. "So, pay close attention, and you'll be perfectly safe."

Craig watched as the team showed them all how to turn an ordinary rope into a 'swiss seat' to support them, and Coach Armstrong was the lucky victim to go first to demonstrate how to walk down the wall.

Mr. Simpson took a spot at the top of the wall, helping coach the students and get their confidence up to go over the wall. Jimmy showed off by going down the wall in jumps, instead of just walking straight down. Terri took quite a bit of time at the top, and could only get in position by shutting her eyes very tightly and walking down one tiny step by step. Once she reached the bottom, all the other students were clapping for her, and she immediately collapsed into a hug from Miss Sauve.

Craig called, "Good luck," as Danni took her place at the bottom of the ladder. She didn't even look back at him.

Danni climbed the ladder steadily, and pulled herself up onto the platform. She carefully walked over to Mr. Simpson, and the belayer who was waiting to hook her into the safety line. She shuffled over to the edge of the platform, and looked straight down. Her eyes glazed over slightly, and her mouth dropped open as her breathing quickened. Craig could see a slight smile playing at the edges of her lips.

As he looked into her all-too-familiar expression, Craig saw another image flash into his mind: the bright light of an oncoming train. The thought seemed to pass through space between Craig and Danni. It would just be so easy.

Craig's stomach lurched, and he sprinted for the ladder. His arms burned as he threw himself up the rungs as quickly as he could. He barely heard Mr. Simpson's warning about "one at a time." The chatter of the students below was just a buzz in his ears.

"Danni? Hey, Danni?" Craig brought his hand in front of Danni's eyes, made sure that she saw it there, before letting it come to rest on her shoulder. Her gaze broke away from the plunge, and she looked at his hand.

"Sorry, I…" Danni's whole body began to tremble.

"It's okay," Craig began to slowly talk. "Everybody gets scared. You want to climb down, or go down the rope?"

"No, I…I can go down." Danni assured him.

"Okay, you're going to be totally fine, once we get you hooked in," Craig said as the belayer clipped a d-ring to lock Danni to the safety line. "There, now you can't fall." Or jump, Craig added silently.

Danni slowly descended the wall, and walked away on shaky knees to the benches. Craig finally let out the breath he'd been holding when she was on the ground safe.

"Hey," Mr. Simpson put a hand on Craig's shoulder, "nice catch. How did you know she was acrophobic?"

Craig blinked. Oh, Simpson thought it was a panic response. "Because…I am…a little…too?" Craig lamely explained.

"Didn't seem to stop you getting up here," Simpson commented.

"Well, it's different when you're helping someone else."

Craig made his way down the wall quickly, and looked around for his friends. Strangely enough, it was Ellie that caught his eye, her face whiter than normal. She didn't speak, but gave him a sharp nod. Craig paused. Ellie knew what it was like, too.

Before he could go anywhere, Craig rushed back to the tower to cheer Ashley on her way up and down. She moved over the tower with ease, and gently came to a landing on the ground. Craig pulled her into a big hug. "You're so brave."

Ashley laughed. "Unlike Danni there."

Craig fell quiet, but just replied, "Yeah." He forced himself to put on the face again and smile, as Mr. Simpson began to descend the tower. He grabbed for his camera and knew he just had to get some pictures for Joey. Outwardly, he was laughing, but his mind was still on what he had just seen.


	5. Chapter 5

The hours of the day wore on, and Craig began to get more desperate. Danni had reappeared at their next group meeting as if nothing had happened on the tower. How could he know for sure if she was all right? Craig remembered the basketball game with Sean, wrestling with Angie, those little things that had revealed what he had tried to hide? Still, running up and groping another girl looking for bruises wasn't exactly acceptable even if he didn't have Ashley.

The perfect opportunity fell into his lap just before dinner. It was another trust exercise, but this one was in the small groups.

"The one-on-one, I fall back, you catch me exercise is a little cliché, so we're going to do one a bit more intense," Simpson explained. He stepped up almost all the way to the top of the ladder of one of the bunk beds. His head was almost touching the ceiling. "You climb up here as far as you can, and the group will stand in two columns behind you, facing inward" Mr. Simpson gestured, and the students lined up next to each other, "and stick their arms out, you don't need to interlock hands, but you'll make a basket for the person to fall into." He paused as the students did so. "Then I just fall back, and you catch me."

"Like a cheerleading catch," Hazel brightly elaborated, "only with more people."

"Exactly," Mr. Simpson smiled as Hazel seemed to lift some of the uncertainty from the crowd. "I'll go ahead and go first."

Craig tried to joke, "Watch out, Joey's chili surprise might have made him a big 'un."

Simpson fell back, and, surprisingly, the teens were able to catch his weight easily. They all let out a collective breath as they realized they had not just dropped their teacher to the floor. Simpson let out his own breath after that, and everyone laughed. "See? Easy as pie. Uh, you can let me down now."

Danni ascended the ladder. She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she was pretending to be dead. Craig made his decision suddenly, and tried to make his face look blank. As she fell back, Craig intentionally dropped his arms a little, and brought his shoulder forward. From the outside, it looked like he had just accidentally dropped her. The result was his arm bumping into Danni's left ribs.

Danni let out a loud gasp. She clearly wanted to scream, but bit down on it. Instead, she just shot a sharp glance at Craig. "You idiot! Put me down!"

Mr. Simpson was startled. "Danni, are you all right?"

"Fine, if Craig wasn't so stupid!" Danni slammed both hands into Craig's chest and shoved him, hard. She spun on her heel, and stormed out of the room.

Craig let the shock that he was feeling show on his face. To everyone else, it looked like he was just surprised at her outburst, but his mind was repeating the word 'no, no, no, no.' Maybe there was a rational explanation. Guilt, Anxiety, Social isolation, Flinching from contact, Long-sleeved shirts, Suicidal tendencies, and add to his list Hiding injuries. No two ways about it, this was exactly the way Craig had used to behave. But now he had to get her to admit exactly what was going on.

And he had just blown any trust and credibility he had had with her.


	6. Chapter 6

(Referenced Degrassi High Episode: Showtime, Part 1 and 2. Don't worry if you're not familiar with this part of Snake's back story, I'm not sure if they've referenced it in the new show. Read on, and get ready for a bumpy ride! For real fun, go back and watch those episodes, then watch Time Stands Still, and pay particular attention to the scene where we all thought Snake was going to punch Mr. Raditch. Snake's character development in an instant.)

*****

Dinner felt lonely that night without Danni's presence at the table. The chatter continued around him, but Craig was very quiet. He was repeating his list of symptoms over and over again in his mind. Every time he would think of something, visions of Danni would interpose with visions of himself doing the exact same things.

Ellie shifted next to him on the bench. "What did you do?"

"Me?" Craig came back to the present. "Why is it my fault?"

"Because you're a guy," Ellie explained. "No, really, it's because you have this sad puppy dog guilty look on your face. Can't you just apologize?"

"I think I might have driven her back even deeper in her shell," Craig admitted.

"Well, if what happened at the tower is any indication," Ellie ignored Craig's sharp intake of breath at her admitting she knew what had really happened at the tower, "you'd better suck it up and apologize fast."

Unfortunately, Danni was way ahead of Craig. As soon as she saw him coming, she ducked out of the hall, dumping the full contents of her plate in the trash on the way. Craig let out a long sigh and wished he was flexible enough to kick himself. The more he pushed, the more she was going to pull away.

The groups met for their final time just before bed. As he walked into the cabin, Craig noticed that the lights were out, and there were candles on most of the surfaces. As he figured, there was something special planned for this final meet.

"Greetings, guys," Mr. Simpson was almost whispering. "We've been working this weekend on a better understanding of ourselves and each other, and to build up some trust between the group so that we can reach this final step. I want you all to take a few moments to think, and then we're each going to share your greatest fear, or secret, or any problem that you're trying to work through right now. It's this final stage of opening up that will really start any healing processes that need to happen."

There was a brief silence, then Mr. Simpson continued. "As a show of good faith, I'll go ahead and go first. The reason I do stuff like this, that I'm constantly trying to talk to my students and get them to open up about what's going on, is not just because I like you guys. When I was in school, one of my classmates, Claude Tanner, killed himself." Simpson paused to let that first truth sink in.

"He did it while he was at school. I just happened to be the next person to go to that bathroom, and…" Simpson involuntarily shut his eyes. "I can never forget the sight of him lying there. Nobody should have to go through what his family went through, what his friends went through, what the whole school went through."

Simpson looked back up at the group. The tears that had been shining in his eyes were held back for now. "That's why I wanted to start this retreat, and I always encourage people to talk, just talk. You'd be surprised at the little things that can really help someone, and if they're in trouble, can even save their lives."

Craig thought back again to Angie, little Angie, and how she had probably saved his life. Could he be as strong as his little sister?

Hazel was the next to speak. "This is probably no surprise, but I'm constantly in Paige's shadow. In a way, it seems like I just brought it on myself, but it's almost easier this way. I…I'm a Muslim. I was born in Somalia. I used to try to be proud of that, but it just got me teased and bullied, and I just had to make it go away. I still believe, but, am I not a good Muslim for not taking on every aspect of the faith? But if I do, why do I have to be hurt for it? I've got this great, wonderful thing, that makes me unique, but…I just can't be that person." Hazel had to stop for the tears in her eyes.

Craig took a long, slow, deep breath. He looked to Danni, who was sitting with her knees to her chest, draping her shirt over almost her entire body. She was projecting a field of absolute resistance. Craig caught Mr. Simpson's eye, who, of course, knew what he would say, and gave him a small nod.

"Everybody knows that my dad died, just two months ago," Craig's voice cracked already, but he pushed himself forward. "Fewer people know that when he was alive, when I was living with him, he used to beat me."

"Every day was working hard to please him, or the anxiety of trying to avoid his anger, or the guilt of something I had done wrong. It was recovering from beatings, or jumping at sounds waiting for the next pain to come. It was all arbitrary, I could have done nothing really wrong, and get hurt. I didn't know what to do. And then the promises that just got emptier and emptier every time he spoke, until his words didn't mean anything any more."

"And then the worst part was seeing my sister, and Joey, my step-father, and knowing that there was something better out there. That life didn't have to be this way for other people, but the thought that it couldn't be that way for me held me back, kept me stuck where I was, until I thought there was only one way out, and I tried to kill myself." There was a slight burning of shame as Craig exposed his every weakness from that time.

"But I got out, moved in with Joey, and I had that life that I thought was only for other people. It got better. Then my dad tried to come back, and…" Craig finally stopped the rush of words that had been constantly streaming out of his mouth. "The last thing he did? Was hit me. He hit me, then he got in that car, and got in a wreck, and killed himself."

"I wouldn't have gotten out in the first place, and I wouldn't be getting through this now, if it weren't for my friends." Craig finally dared to look up at Danni. "I couldn't do any of this alone. Snake's right, I had to tell somebody, talk to somebody, or I was just going to go back and stand in front of that train again when Sean wasn't around this time."

Craig reiterated his final point. "No matter how bad it is, there is always a way out."

In one motion, Danni got to her feet, and ran out the door before anyone could react. Craig was on his feet a moment later. "I'm on it," he called back to Mr. Simpson as he ran after her, leaving a bewildered group behind.

"Leave me alone!" Danni shrieked back as soon as she saw that Craig was following her.

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" Craig shouted back. "You need to talk to someone!"

"Go away!"

"No!"

Danni stopped and turned around so suddenly that Craig almost ran into her. "So how fucked up were you, hunh? How messed up were you that your dad had to knock you around, hunh?" Danni planted her hands in Craig's chest and shoved him back.

"You're not messed up. It's not your fault. Danni, whatever's going on, it can end."

"Yeah, it would have," Danni gave a bitter laugh. "If you had left me alone on that tower, it would have. Otherwise, he's always going to find me, he's always going to hurt me."

Danni moved right up next to Craig, her face inches from his. "You think I haven't tried to get out? You think dear old dad didn't just drag me right back, and give me this?" Danni held up her right hand, and Craig could see that the little finger had been broken and healed crookedly.

Craig's brain realized that he had finally gotten an actual admission out of Danni, but he didn't have time to point it out. He gripped Danni's shoulders, partly to keep her from running away again. "We can get you out. You can know what it's like to live without pain."

Danni began to cry, and she feebly tried to push him away again, but Craig held on too tightly. He pulled her in closer, and finally hugged her as she cried. Craig bit the insides of his cheeks hard to keep himself from crying. He had to be stable to help her through this.

A light suddenly shone on both of them. "Craig?"

Craig and Danni both looked up to see Ashley's surprised face. "What's going on here?"

Danni's breath went back to panicked. "All I ever do is mess things up," she whispered. She shoved Craig again and tried to bolt away.

"Danni! Wait!" Craig only managed to snag the back of Danni's long-sleeved shirt. She pulled out of it, and sprinted off towards the woods.

"Craig!" Ashley was still staring at him with a hurt look.

"She's getting hurt, Ash. Her dad's beating her, just like me. I finally got her to admit it, but it won't do us any good if she runs off and hurts herself." Craig's voice was back to a mile a minute, trying to tell Ashley what was going on as quickly as possible.

"Okay," Ashley said. "Where would she go?"

Without a word, Craig took off in the direction of the rappel tower.


	7. Chapter 7

Craig's lungs burned as he ran, the only sounds were his and Ashley's panicked breathing, and the slight swish of their feet through the grass. The beam of the flashlight in Ashley's hand waved back and forth on the ground in front of them. Craig longed to call out, to know that Danni was all right, but he knew that would just send her further away. At last he saw the dark wooden structure of the rappel tower. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could see the figure starting to climb.

"Danni!" He couldn't stop himself this time.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, this will fix it," Danni was talking softly to herself and crying as she continued to climb.

Craig felt the sharp pain in his side as he struggled to keep breathing. He ran full speed at the ladder and practically leapt onto it. He climbed even faster than he had that morning. This time, Danni's life actually was on the line.

"I'm sorry!" Danni let out a high-pitched shriek.

"Danni! I'm here!" Craig pulled himself over the top of the platform and lunged to get a hand on Danni. He got her around the ankle, then pulled her in away from the ledge. "Get away from there, that's it," Craig found himself babbling again.

"Go away, this pain has to stop," Danni cried.

"Not that way, Danni! It won't help anything! We can help you!"

"Yeah, only until I mess up again, and I hurt you all, I already hurt Ashley!"

"It's all right, see, Ashley's down there, and she's worried about you, too, okay?" Craig consciously tried to slow down his talking. "She can help, too, she helped me. And Joey can help, and Mr. Simpson can help, and everybody's here to help you."

"Yeah, help me until I mess up again, and I drive you all away. I'll hurt you, and I'll hurt myself, it's all my fault."

"You didn't do this!" Craig shouted the affirmation, then suddenly fell silent as he realized that it was as much for him as it was for her.

"He did this." Craig had thought he had no tears left, but they came back now. "He's the one that did something wrong. He should be feeling guilty, he should be anxious someone will find him out. He's the one that can't get along with people, and he's really the one hiding things!"

Danni could only look up at Craig as his words sank in. She started trembling all over. "You're right." She took a deep breath. "You're…he wants it to be me, so that it doesn't have to be his fault."

Craig nodded. "You okay to come down now?"

"My shirt," Danni wrapped her arms around herself.

"Ash has it. Just come on down," Craig guided Danni to the ladder, and climbed down ahead of her.

As Ashley was helpfully shining the light on them to help them climb, Craig glanced back up at Danni, and his stomach turned. She was wearing a tank top now, and Craig could see the bruises on her arms, and a faint scar on her shoulder blade that disappeared under the material.

"Are you…" Ashley started to ask something as Danni stepped back down to the ground.

Without a word, Danni rolled up the hem of her tank top to show an ace bandage wound around her ribs. She unwrapped the material, revealing more purple flesh with every pass. Craig stared, flashing back to his own reflection in the mirror. Was it only a year ago?

Ashley handed Danni back the shirt, and Danni put all of her coverings back in place. Finally, she looked back up at both of them. "You can really take it all away?"

Ashley nodded first. "We promise. We'll both do whatever it takes."

Slowly, hand in hand, the three of them made their way back to the cabin sites.


	8. Chapter 8

There was a quick discussion with Mr. Simpson that night, just enough to put his mind at ease so they could all get some sleep. It was the next morning that began to pose a problem.

"So, Mr. Simpson is calling Joey, and he's going to pick us up before we get to the school, so you don't even have to see him," Craig was explaining. "You'll come back to my place, and we can call Children's Aid and the police and everyone else from there."

Danni was helping herself to an extra-large late breakfast. After the night's adventures, Mr. Simpson had let everyone sleep in. "Sounds good. And then I get to meet your little savior, Angie, right?"

Mr. Simpson walked over. "Craig, can I talk to you for a second?"

Craig followed Mr. Simpson a few paces away. "I can't get ahold of Joey," Simpson explained. "I'm going to keep trying the entire time we're traveling, but if he can't meet up with us, or he's not on time, I'll go ahead and take you all, myself. Okay?"

Craig nodded. "Okay. The Joey plan is safer, though, so, yeah, keep calling."

Mr. Simpson put a hand on Craig's shoulder. "In case nobody's said it, you did a really great thing this weekend."

"Well, don't thank me," Craig shook his head. "We're not out of the woods yet. Literally."

Mr. Simpson gave a weak smile at the joke as he walked away.

The tension mounted as the bus crawled closer and closer back to Degrassi. Danni was sitting in the back row of the bus, next to Ellie, with Craig and Ashley right in front of her. Hazel and Terri were across the row, with Jimmy and Marco in front of them. Paige sat alone in front of Craig.

Paige was twisting her hands in her lap, and after a long moment of silence, she broke it with an apology, "I'm really sorry, Danni, if I've hurt you and made you feel like more of an outcast."

Danni gave a happy sigh. "That means a lot, Paige. Just so long as you keep it up once school's in, hunh?"

Paige nodded. "Definitely, hon."

The Degrassi parking lot came into view. Danni's breathing became quicker and shallower. Ashley had reached across the back of the seat, and taken Danni's hand in hers. Craig recognized the way Ashley was making small circles in Danni's hand with her thumb, just a small contact reminder to calm her down. Ash did that for him all the time.

Right as they pulled in, Craig spotted Joey's car coming from the opposite direction. "Joey!" He shouted, and a collective sigh came up from the group in the back. "Hey, he's here!"

The bus stopped, and the students began filing out. "Okay, it's that car right there," Craig pointed, "Ashley and Mr. Simpson and I are going to take you over there. Okay?"

Danni nodded. She slid her backpack onto her shoulder, and walked towards the front of the bus. She was trying to keep her head straight forward as she got off, then turned towards Joey's car. It was only a few steps.

"Danni!" Mr. Welker's voice sounded across the parking lot.

Danni froze for just a second, Craig and Ashley's guiding hands helped her forward, and she kept walking.

"Danni! Danni!" The voice was getting closer. "Where are you going?"

Craig could see Joey's concerned face looking over with that slight confusion he always got. Great. So he hadn't gotten any of Snake's messages. Instinct was taking over, though, and Joey started moving towards them.

"Get back here!"

Craig barely got a chance to turn around before he was shoved away by a much larger man. Craig fell backwards, landing hard on the pavement. He looked up at the over six-foot tall, lightly muscled man who would have dwarfed Albert Manning. The thought of this man touching someone so much smaller than him blew all emotion from Craig's mind but rage. He shot back up to his feet, but before he could take a step, Ashley had a hand on his chest to stop him.

Craig saw Danni's eyes widen, her face pale, and her mouth drop open in fear as Mr. Welker gripped Danni's wrist. "Come on." Danni began to shake her head, but she couldn't move, couldn't actually say no. She started to take a step towards her father.

"Danni!" Craig and Ashley spoke at the same time.

Danni blinked. The spell had been broken. She swiftly smacked her free hand down on top of her father's wrist, and jerked herself out of his grip. "I'm leaving," Danni snarled in a voice that was harder than anything Craig had heard come out of her.

"I'm leaving," Danni repeated, "and I'm not coming back. I'm getting a restraining order, and I'm going to put you in jail." Mr. Welker took a slight step backwards at that word. "And one more thing."

Danni ripped off her long-sleeved shirt. "I'm tired of hiding what _you_ should be ashamed of." She threw the shirt at her father and turned to walk away.

"Fine, go!" Disarmed, Mr. Welker was resorting to his only weapon left. "Go run to your new friends, but you'll just lie, and hurt them, and they'll go away, and you'll be back with me. You're always mine, Danni!"

"Let's just go," she whispered.

Craig, Ashley, Joey, and Danni all piled into the car, and they drove out of the parking lot, leaving Mr. Welker all alone.


	9. Chapter 9

Mr. Simpson had joined the group at Joey's house, and they all had dinner together. Danni had been immediately snatched by Angie, her hair in particular. She was sporting three lop-sided braids as she feasted on Snake's cooking.

The only slightly awkward moment came as Angie looked at Danni's arms, and asked, "Craig, is the dinosaur back? I thought you made him go away."

Danni looked confused, but Craig knelt down next to Angie. "That one is gone, yes, but there are more dinosaurs out there."

Angie's innocent eyes shot up to Craig. "But you can make that one go away, too, right?"

Craig nodded. "I promise."

Danni was still confused, but Craig mouthed over Angie's hug, 'I'll explain later.'

It didn't take long for all the girls to decide to go to bed. Joey crept back down the stairs after checking on them. "They're all out," he whispered to Craig.

Craig was curled up on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Joey sat down next to him. "Hey, you okay?"

Craig was finally letting all his tears come out. "Why, Joey? Why do parents do this to their kids?" He paused to sniffle. "I mean, I get it, I've read all those psychology books, and I get that it's about control, and feeling power, and displacement, and I get it all up here," Craig tapped his head. "But it still doesn't make sense when I see it happening."

"I mean, I knew I wasn't the only one to go through this," Craig stopped himself from using generalizations, "the only kid to get abused, but this isn't an experience I would have ever wanted to have in common with someone. If I could…if I could have been the only one getting hurt, so nobody else had to, I would have."

Joey put his arm around Craig. "Because you're such a good kid. I'm with you: I hope this could never have happened to anyone else. But the best we can do is go after him as hard as we can, punish him, make him really feel helpless, and show people they can't get away with this."

Craig cracked a smile for a split second between sobs. "Just like you, Joey. You kick butt."

Joey sighed. "This next little while is going to be hard on her." Craig started to nod, but Joey continued, "If she's actually pursuing police action, she's going to have to testify, and get checked out by a hospital, probably as soon as tomorrow."

Craig paused at that. He had been spared most of this ordeal by his father dying. It gave him another spark of anger that his father had taken the easy way out, instead of ever owning up to what he had done.

"She's going to need friends," Joey finished.

Craig nodded. "That, we can handle. We'll be there for her. One day at a time."

If one day at a time was as quickly as it took to heal, then Craig could be all right with that.

*****

All set, let me know what you thought and if you want a sequel to see the complications of trying to put Danni's father away.


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